Rachael Hope

When you use your words and actions in harmful ways, you are making your position very clear.

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Photo by Life Matters from Pexels

I recently enjoyed a several-weeks long stint as a moderator in a Facebook group with about 2,500 writers. Yesterday, I sent the original moderator a message explaining that I wasn’t willing to run a group with her.

It came down a fundamental difference in opinions about how a group should be run. …


I never considered myself Patriotic, then my country disappeared

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Image by Tayeb MEZAHDIA from Pixabay

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it. I grew up thinking that patriotism was a little bit silly and a little bit misguided: how could you pledge allegiance to a flag or be so dedicated to a nation? I have always been grateful for the life I’ve been able to have because of where I live, but I haven’t displayed the American flag or gone all-in on the 4th of July.

The first time I remember feeling something akin to patriotism was on September 11. More precisely, in the days following the terrorist attacks that changed everything, I watched this country come together and it made me proud to be here. For the first time in my life, I felt somewhat proud to be an American. …


If you only need one reason to vote him out, consider this: Donald Trump doesn’t care about you or this country.

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Gage Skidmore, CC BY-SA 3.0 via Wikimedia Commons

This year is my 6th time voting for the President of the United States. In the past, it’s always been something I believed in doing, and something I watched closely. But this year is different. I have never felt that so much was at stake. Beyond policy, this time feels like one candidate will improve things, and one will mean the end of the country I live in as I know it.

I’m not super excited about either candidate, if I’m being honest. I don’t love Joe Biden, and he wouldn’t have been my pick for the nomination. It’s hard to be very into another old white guy president. …


Hanging on through the hopelessness of heavy boots

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Photo by Alex Boyd on Unsplash

It’s late Sunday night when a post appears in my local community Facebook group. There is not much information, just a screenshot of a dispatch report from the fire station down the hill. The address is blacked out, but I can see enough to maybe figure it out. Description: ECHO DOA. Initial Remarks: 3 PEOPLE FOUND DEAD — F UNABLE TO SPEAK // CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY. Instantaneously, a heaviness develops in my gut.

The post asks if anyone has information: was it accidental or were they murdered? There are a few comments, then the admin of the group appears. She knows details, is not sharing them out of respect for the family, confirms it was not a break-in, but a self-contained situation so people didn’t need to worry about that aspect. …


Mothers share the things that surprised them, grieved them, and helped them during the pain of miscarriage.

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Photo by Andrey Zvyagintsev on Unsplash

I love Chrissy Teigen. No, I don’t know her. She doesn’t know me. But she is smart, and funny, and real. And her suffering right now is a parent's worst nightmare, a loss that is wordless. Her photos and words are raw, beautiful in their humanity, and timeless.

It’s not easy to share this pain with the world at large, but I’m so, so thankful that she chose to. …


My climaxes are like a box of chocolates: sweet, sensual, heavenly and delightfully varied.

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Photo by Dainis Graveris on SexualAlpha

If you’d asked me in my early thirties what it felt like to climax, I would have given a simple answer. It feels good. Then, my world imploded, and in the process I nurtured my sexuality and my self. My vocabulary of pleasure expanded as I gathered experiences, from bold to nuanced, tucking them away for infinite replay.

I didn’t know then that an orgasm is not just an orgasm. The more sex I’ve had, the more exploration I’ve done, the more I’ve discovered how many different types of orgasms are out there. …


Keep your relationships happy & healthy by recognizing bad behavior before it becomes a problem

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Photo by Daniel Monteiro on Unsplash

Dating can be complicated. It requires a lot of time, thoughtfulness, and energy, and it’s so disappointing to waste those things on someone who ends up throwing out red flags left and right. Recognizing behaviors that shouldn’t be happening is a great first step to keeping your relationships and your heart happy and healthy.

While some red flags exist in all intimate or romantic relationships, others are specific to relationships with multiple partners. Let’s take a look at some common warning signs that can pop up in polyamorous relationships.

Unhealthy behavior in existing relationships.

They say you can’t judge a book by its cover, but perhaps you can judge a book by the 18 preceding books in the series. Unhealthy or concerning behaviors in a potential partner’s existing relationships can be a strong sign to steer clear of further involvement. …


Take a break from 2020 as I sacrifice my dignity for your entertainment

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Photo by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons (cc)

It’s 2020 and we all need a break, right? This week has just been over-the top. So forget the presidential “debate,” and get ready for some terrible, innocent, ridiculous fanfiction! I recently recovered all of the files from a laptop that’s been broken for several years, including documents going back to my very first laptop, a Geobook my parents bought me in high school. There’s a lot of poetry, some old journal entries, and not one, but two X-Files fan fictions. Lord, help me.

In the spirit of providing some comic relief and a brief moment of respite from 2020: the dumpster fire, I give you the following, a tale equally mortifying and entertaining. I present a story of Mulder and Scully, written by 18-year-old me in 1999.


I’d apologize for ruining the fun, but I’m not actually sorry

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Photo by RF._.studio from Pexels

My ability to tolerate questionable content seems to have a direct inverse correlation with my age. As I count down the days to 40, I can feel the last remnants of the fucks I used to give about calling out problematic behavior floating off into the ether. Sure, when I speak up, I still feel that niggling urge to apologize for being a killjoy. Sorry to be the Debbie Downer who rained on the diet culture parade! My apologies for being misogyny-spotting buzzkill! But I restrain myself, because the truth is, I’m not sorry.

We shape our selves, millions of tiny pieces coming together to form who we are and what we believe, by taking in the world around us. …


23 new traditions for celebrating the year’s best holiday in safety

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Image by Nina1120 from Pixabay

Many people I know love Halloween more than any other holiday. Come October 1, it’s decorative gourd season, full stop. Jack-o-Lanterns, listening to The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack on repeat, and Halloween movies every weekend. For parents, taking kids trick-or-treating and watching them excitedly run up to each door, bags-in-hand, is the pinnacle of a month-long celebration.

This year, a lot of things have been different, and October is proving to be more of the same.

About

Rachael Hope

Polyamorous, loud laughing unapologetic feminist, rad fatty, and epic sweet tooth.

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