Being fat and being healthy are not mutually exclusive. You can be healthy and fat at the same time. Yes, there are health issues that having extra body fat might contribute to, but they are not guaranteed. Lots of fat people are healthy and lots of thin people are not.
I’m sorry that you are stuck in a space where you feel so badly about your body. I have been there, so I get it. But it’s not where I choose to be anymore. I hope you find peace.