I think it’s interesting that your first thought on reading this is an ingrained reaction that you are afraid for my safety. That might be a commentary on what our society thinks (consciously or unconsciously) about sluts in general. Yes, I was, and am, safe. Yes, I was, and am, responsible.
I have written a couple of pieces about this time in my life, and one of the things I’m very clear about in my mind is that I knew that it was partly a reaction to pain. I knew while I was doing it that I was using sex and pleasure to staunch my wounds, and I was (and am) okay with that. Thank you for reading!