Divorce turned out to be everything I expected and not at all like I thought it would be. The climb out from the depths of despair I lived in for the last few years of our life together wasn’t a straight line. …

Why I believe every woman should undress in front of the camera — I can’t remember which of my friends first showed me a gorgeous photo of herself in her underwear. Sometime in the season of my marriage’s demise, boudoir photos became popular. I was curious, especially given the rave reviews I heard about the experience. I made a lot of excuses for…

Inside the physical pain of a broken heart. — The week my husband moved out, I was in so much pain that I felt like it was going to burst through my chest. I walked around and wondered how it was that people couldn’t just feel it radiating off me, it seemed like there should be some visible aura…

Finding love again after divorce gave me more than I could have imagined. — My boyfriend holds me while I cry and whispers in my ear. Let it out. The past two days in particular have been glazed with a steady flow of tears, wept for a multitude of reasons and to simply ease the pain inside me as well as they can. Sometimes…

Nostalgia is not always sweet. — The thing about triggers is that you don’t know them. They are lying in wait until the trap is sprung and you are caught gasping for breath in a swirling, rising tide of emotion. I did not know that the ultrasound would be more than I could handle. …

This is not a story about how I was I was smarter, more covered up, more sober, or more ladylike. — This is not the story of the night I was raped. This is also not the story of how I made good choices that kept me from getting raped. I am 16 years old, and I go on AOL every night to chat. Local chat rooms fill up with people…

Not remembering good times feels different than not remembering bad ones. — When your life is overwhelming and out of control, when your self worth has been taken from you, when you can’t make it through one more hour in the day without letting some of the pain out, you get good at finding places to cry. I used to sit behind…

After divorce, it was time to face the world on my own terms — I was married for 10 years, and when I got divorced I thought a lot about my name. I was born with one name, and before I got married, I was excited to change it to my fiance’s name. …

Some days the lie of “fine” is almost too much to even speak out loud. — In a darkened theater, the breeze of the curtain as people exit is cool on the paths traced by tears on my cheeks. My chest is tight, and I have to will myself to stand up from the seat I’m in. …

The first failure of my motherhood came when I learned the hard way that not all breasts are created equal — There are so many things that no one tells you about having babies and becoming a mother. It’s impossible to know how unprepared you are before it happens, before that tiny bundle of softness and life is in your arms. I was 25 years old when I met Sam for…

The way we talk to and about girls and their bodies matters — On a photo of a friend’s 13-year-old daughter lying on the beach soaking up the sunshine after a full day of surfing, someone comments “Oh, your day of reckoning is coming!” When my friend asks what they mean, the person says “Boys chasing/fighting for her attention. …

Vote with your remote and help end this diet-culture orgy of self-loathing — The Biggest Loser is back, and I can’t even believe I’m typing that because this show is so repugnant. …

Finding the strength to turn and walk away, releasing myself from the obligation to live in past moments — I imagine my existence as a sprawling palace, high-ceiling rooms and galleries containing experiences and interactions and the brutal and beautiful art that makes us who we are. Here we have our family, here we have our mentors. There we have our achievements, and there our shames and regrets.

How a boy named Sam changed my life forever — Heartbreak comes in many shapes and sizes, and at many different times in life. It can come from so many places and happen to anyone at any moment. When I think of my biggest heartbreak, it’s not hard to decide. …

Finding peace through body liberation means I’m no longer willing to change my shape to fit a mold — No matter how many times I try to tell Facebook I don’t want to see them, the ads for Shapermint never disappear. They usually have short commercial videos with before and after shots, as a woman transforms from bumpy/natural (read: unacceptable) to meeting the standard of smoothness society expects.

One small step for a judge, one giant leap for womankind — Moments ago, news broke that generally gross sexual predator Harvey Weinstein was sentenced to 23 years in prison by a judge in New York. …

We should be teaching our boys the basic social skills to handle not being liked back — Yesterday, I got called an ugly fat bitch because I told a guy that I don’t like to talk on the phone. That’s it. We had exchanged probably 8 messages, and he asked for my phone number. …

Without structure or straight paths forward, my life crumbled — My memories of the last years of my failed marriage are like a mist in spring, some hanging low and wet and kissing the ground, others burning off as the sun rises, wisping away until they’re untouchable. …

We weren’t friends before you dumped me, and we won’t be friends after. — There’s nothing quite like the butterfly-laced excitement of potential relationship energy. You know the feeling — like pop rocks in your heart, bursts of nervous attraction and anticipation. Those conversations that refuse to end lead to reluctant good-nights and pings of a notification that raises your pulse just a little.

As my marriage dissolved, the man I’d married disappeared — I’ve dubbed the night I found out my husband was a woman “The worst Christmas ever.” It wasn’t the worst Christmas because of her confession, the revelation may even have improved the night with the freedom of a secretly given voice. …