Sometime in the space of the months after I moved out of the house I’d shared with my husband, I became the kind of person who had discussions about energy exchange. This led to a sunny, lazy afternoon in bed ending with a conversation about how lovely it had been…

20 years ago, I never imagined that my early 30s would become so humorously reminiscent of the time spent on AOL at 18. …

Any one of us could likely sit down and make a long list of red flags we’ve experienced in dating. As a polyamorous woman, there are a whole new set of warning signs to pay attention to when I’m getting to know a new potential partner. Primary Relationships You can practice polyamory…

When I was 24, my core group of three girlfriends had a huge falling out when two friends accused the third of having hit on their boyfriends. I spent hours and hours thinking about what each claimed had happened, and could not reconcile the idea that my dream of a…

While it’s incredibly rewarding in a myriad of ways, polyamory is not always easy. It’s often an adventure telling someone new I’m getting to know that I have a boyfriend already, but we’re polyamorous. I never know what to expect. …

“I have a hall pass.” “She doesn’t mind what I do as long as she doesn’t find out about it.” “We have a don’t ask, don’t tell arrangement.” Even before I began to identify with polyamory, I ran into “don’t ask, don’t tell” a lot. Online dating has it’s advantages…

Considerations for opening your heart to non-monogamy. — With the popularity of TV shows like Big Love and Sister Wives, polyamory has been in the news, for better or worse. Whether you’re single or in a monogamous relationship, chances are you’ve heard something about polyamory and ethical non-monogamy. My path to figuring out I was polyamorous was a…

Mistakes to avoid as you explore open relationships — Bountiful love, connection, and community are huge perks of being in multiple loving relationships simultaneously. Polyamory also brings some unique challenges and pitfalls. Along with the same issues many monogamous couples experience, those embarking in polyamorous relationships should be on the lookout for these common mistakes. Focusing on “Fairness”

Focus on boundaries and agreements for happier, more secure relationships. — When I tell people I am polyamorous, the question of rules comes up often. Couples who are new to open relationships often want to start out at the beginning with a set of rules for what will happen once they start exploring outside of their current relationship. …

A basic introduction to ethical non-monogamy and loving more — Online dating can be a tricky world to navigate, and over time I’ve come to a point where there are certain questions I’m going to ask directly, and ask early in a conversation. One of them is are you single? …

I haven’t been on a date in over two years. — When I initially tell people I’m polyamorous, I can practically see the list of pre-conceived notions flash behind their eyes. A different lover every day of the week! Meeting men with little effort! Nonstop orgies! Reality couldn’t be further from the truth. I haven’t been on a date in two years. Do you hear the sad trombone? Even worse…

My strategy for big conversations is matter-of-fact and honest — My 9 year old son likes to climb into bed next to me in the mornings to share cuddles and warmth. At times I feel crowded, but I try to remember that it won’t be this way forever, and enjoy the heat of his still-small body next to mine while…

Where to look for information, guidance, and connection — My journey into polyamory began with a friend and a book. In the days after my divorce, a delightful new friend lent me “The Ethical Slut,” and I began to discover the language around feelings deep within me. I was lucky. This friend and then my boyfriend led me to…

It’s okay if traditional relationship models don’t work for you — When I first told my mom that I am polyamorous and that my new partner already had a long-term girlfriend, she was not thrilled. She had just witnessed the rather complete destruction of my heart by my imploding marriage, so I can’t blame her for feeling protective. Some of our…

How we can work to dismantle the cultural stigmas around non-monogamy — Figuring out I was polyamorous was a lucky break for me. I happened to meet people who were involved in the kink and poly communities in the city I live in, and that led me to become involved myself. …

The ins, outs, challenges and benefits of mixed-orientation matchups — If there’s one thing I’ve learned about being human, it’s that we don’t have a whole lot of control over many things. Whether it’s a potential romantic partner or a friend, sometimes you meet someone and something sparks. Most of the time, that magnetism pays little attention to your logical…

The ins and outs of having a partner with other partners — Almost every relationship you have as a human being requires interaction with the other person’s friends, family, coworkers, or aquaintances. In polyamorous relationships, a facet to this is the relationships you have with your metamours. Simply put, a metamour is your partner’s other partner. For example, my girlfriend’s husband is…

Solid advice for transitioning from monogamy to polyamory. — People discover and explore polyamory in innumerable ways. Within these ways, there are two basic starting points. My journey into polyamory began when my marriage ended, so I’ve had the luxury of exploring on my own and then with a partner who was already polyamorous when we met. Many polyamorous…

What it feels like to experience grief caused by the heartbreak of someone you love. — No matter how many kinds of heartbreak you’ve already experienced in life, it seems like there’s always room for more. Polyamory is hugely rewarding in a myriad of ways, but also brings new challenges. …

There’s nothing wrong with you if polyamory isn’t your jam, relationship structures are plentiful — Like gender and sexuality, relationship orientation lies on a spectrum. Instead of thinking of it as a straight-line continuum, I think of it as a sort of amorphous blob, on the surface of which lie an unlimited number of possibilities. Humans love to construct falsely-binary systems, but the truth is…