If you want to get kinky or change things up, you need to ask first — Sometimes, we are lucky enough to see the world change for the better right before our eyes. Real social change can be slow, but when you get the chance to witness it, it’s inspiring. I find a lot of hope in the conversations I see happening about consent. …

I had more sex in the six months after my marriage ended than I’d had in the 8 years prior — The night I had sex with someone other than my husband for the first time, my soul woke up. Blurry, alcohol tinged memories of that night are interspersed with moments of clarity years absent from my life. Running across the parking lot as a light snow fell through the beams…

What I learned from a long-awaited date that ended with his satisfaction and my disappointment. — In my first conversation with Kyle on OK Cupid, he told me he wanted to push me up against a wall and hold me there while he kissed me. …

How kinksters really experience power, pleasure, and pain. — Since the rise in popularity of 50 Shades of Gray, BDSM and kink have become significantly more visible in the mainstream. For kinksters, this has been a good thing and a bad thing. …

I’ve been neglecting an important relationship: the one with myself — When I was married, I masturbated every night. In fact, between the ages of 12 and 33, I’d say I rubbed one out most nights. …

The hottest things men have ever said to me, and how you can make that list for your partner. — We’ve all been there- things are getting hot and heavy, and suddenly the words come out of your partner’s mouth: talk dirty to me. If you’re anything like me, you freeze like a deer in the headlights. The best sex I’ve ever had has almost always involved some form of…

Penises, no matter how magical, can not alter human anatomy — I’m always game for a new lady-buddy comedy, so when I saw the first previews for Tiffany Haddish’s new movie, Like a Boss, I was all in. In one of the previews, the main characters advise a young makeup client not to have sex at homecoming, because homecoming sex is…

Fat fetishes, objectification, and leaving limits behind — I’m a fat, sexy woman. I’ve written before about my sexuality and my size, but one thing I haven’t delved into is the concept of the Big, Beautiful Woman (BBW) and my fear of being fetishized because I have a big body. As a fat woman who also embraces her…

Fantasies of being taken have nothing to do with real-life rape- and they’re a lot more common than you might think. — I don’t remember the first time I had a fantasy that involved dominance and force. I was about 12 when I started to discover my sexuality, and in the years between 8th and 10th grade I bent down the pages of novels to mark the sexy parts. Then came the…

How I came to love stolen moments of connection — On a Friday afternoon, I pull out the box with the knee-high gladiator sandals a friend gave me. I’m going to a clothing exchange the next night and need to finally try them on and see if they’re keepers. He comes into the room and helps me zip up the…

The awakening of my dormant libido fed a love for myself I never expected — When my libido re-awakened after years of dormancy, orgasms became my drug. I couldn’t get enough, and as I rebuilt my life and my world, I found pieces of my humanity in beds and on couches and one Saturday night in the back seat of a car downtown. …

What my D/s dynamic taught me about staying in touch with my sexuality — You know those soft serve cones you can get at Dairy Queen that have the hard chocolate shell? The kind where once you break through it, it’s sweet, pliable, lickable ice cream? Sometimes I feel like one of those cones. You’re probably not surprised to hear that I’m not always…

Guys: sexualizing women who didn’t ask and telling them you’re horny or masturbating is not cool. — There are tons of upsides to online dating. For instance, the ability to continue connecting with people even during a pandemic. …

Fighting the urge to put disclaimers on one of the most important relationships in my life — Since I was two years old, I have always had a best friend. I have many friends, and I love them, but I always have that one person who is my anchor, my female confidant, my person. My heart needs that friendship as deep as the ocean, the one that…

Changes forced by quarantine aren’t the only reason to up your digital game — 2020 has brought a myriad of changes to the way we relate to each other, including sexual partners. …

My climaxes are like a box of chocolates: sweet, sensual, heavenly and delightfully varied. — If you’d asked me in my early thirties what it felt like to climax, I would have given a simple answer. It feels good. Then, my world imploded, and in the process I nurtured my sexuality and my self. …

Exploring BDSM and power exchange enhances my life and my relationship — Full disclosure: it wasn’t that long ago that the thought of referring to a romantic partner as Daddy really squicked me out. I didn’t understand why anyone would want to associate such a familial word with anything sexy or erotic. I was judgmental, and very sure that I would never! …

As a fat woman, I’ve found immense power in embracing my sexuality. Here’s what I’ve learned. — When I write about sex, I’m not just writing about sex. I’m writing about fat sex. In many ways, the sex I have is no different than the sex anyone else has, regardless of their body size, shape, ability, age, or other differences. …

Tips for getting tied when you’re not a size 2 — Practicing rope bondage is a versatile and multi-faceted hobby. I fell in love with it for a variety of reasons. People get involved in rope for different reasons: for some it’s part of their sex life, for some it’s an art form. …

Our tech-generation kids are going to come across porn whether we like it or not, so I’d like them to be prepared — Parenting is difficult at any age, but when you’re parenting small children, the ground feels steadier. Guidelines and lessons are rooted in simple values, and getting back to the basics like kindness, consideration, and safety is pretty easy. No, we don’t hit people. Yes, we should be kind. …