There’s actually a specific kink beyond D/s called consensual non-consent. It’s basically exactly what you’ve talked about — the ability to live out those fantasies in a safe and consensual way. It’s all an illusion, but a powerful, and really sexy one.
I’ve had non-consent fantasies for decades, but it took me a really long time to admit it because of everything you’ve talked about. I think it’s important that we talk about it because I felt like there must be something wrong with me. It’s nice to know I’m not alone.