Rachael Hope

It’s time to move out of survival mode and into the light of healing from the trauma of America’s worst president.

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Photo by Gage Skidmore via Wikimedia Commons (cc)

This morning, I experienced a lot of firsts. I have never cried during the National Anthem before. I’ve never been moved to tears by Jennifer Lopez or been so sentimental hearing songs about America. I’ve never been so deeply touched by an invocation prayer. I found myself incredibly moved by Father O’Donovan’s words:

On the capital steps today, instead of power, I saw joy. Excitement. Plans and dreams. This is the antithesis of everything we have heard and absorbed for the last four years. …


Being on alert all the time is exhausting, and even when I’m not conscious of it, the anxiety is there.

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Photo by Rodrigo Pereira on Unsplash

When my fellow highly-sensitive, gentle friend posts on Facebook asking how we are all doing, I barely hesitate. Not well, I reply, my mind and body are having trouble adjusting to the new frequency of things. This is my truth, which I struggle to articulate.

10 months in, my feet are unsteady underneath me, and much of the time I just feel like I have no control over my emotional-physical well-being. …


All about the pros and cons of sharing your relationship orientation and tips for a smooth transition.

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Photo by Mayank Baranwal on Unsplash

When people ask me who practices polyamory, my answer is that all kinds of people do; in fact, they probably already know someone who’s polyamorous! I feel lucky that I had the privilege and security to be open with my relationship orientation pretty early on when I figured it out. I’d just come out of a marriage, was single, didn’t have a job that would be put in jeopardy or family who would turn their backs.

Coming out as polyamorous was important to me for many reasons.

I made a post on my Facebook page, and to my surprised delight, received multiple private messages from friends I’d had no idea were on the non-monogamy side of the relationship spectrum. As a writer with strong convictions, I’ve chosen to use my voice to talk about things many people won’t (or can’t) talk about. It’s one of the reasons I write about polyamory, and a big reason for the creation of Polyamory Today. …


Why it’s so hard for your fat friends to hear about your diet and weight loss goals.

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Image by Lindley Ashline | purchased from Body Liberation Stock

A couple of weeks ago, there was a big to-do because Lizzo decided to do a juice cleanse. I’m not going to get into all the details (they’re easy to find with a quick search), but I will say that it was emotionally exhausting to watch it unfold.

Seeing the diet-culture, intentional-weight-loss focused propaganda on the page of the personal trainer/nutritionist/whatever that Lizzo was working with was hard. What was harder was knowing it was just the beginning of the New Years January onslaught of diet culture posts. For your fat friends, it’s triggering, frustrating, disappointing, and exhausting. …


This time of year can be particularly challenging. Here’s how you can help.

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Image by Bruno /Germany from Pixabay

Here we are again, at the beginning of the season of sweets. Last week at work, we finally received the first of what will be several much-anticipated boxes of chocolate sent by our consultants and vendors. Along with the boxes always come self-deprecating comments by co-workers as they dig in, searching for their favorites.

I really shouldn’t.

Ugh, more chocolates? What are they doing to us!

There goes all my hard work.

I sit at my desk and listen, and begin building the wall I have to put up around myself every December. I am experiencing the first twinges of the letdown of what feels like endless talk about diets and weight loss. Even when it’s framed as being about health, it’s all just a whole lot of buy-in to a really harmful diet culture. …


Unwillingness to put up with crappy treatment doesn’t make someone “too sensitive”

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Photo by Francisco De Legarreta C. on Unsplash

I attended an HR training last year where the instructor gave us statistics about how employment lawsuits and complaints are at an all-time high. Is this because employers are treating their workers more poorly? Nope. It’s because the up and coming generations have two things: the knowledge that they have rights, and the resources to research and find the actual labor laws that support those rights.

There are more lawsuits in the workplace, and it isn’t because the younger generation is touchy. It’s because people in the workforce are paying closer attention to the laws that have always been there. …


If you think being asked to stay home & wear a mask is traumatic, wait until someone you love dies of COVID.

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Photo by Brian Kndeneh on Unsplash

About 14 miles north of Bellingham, where I live, lies the town of Lynden, Washington. With a population between 15–20,000, and so many churches that people there used to claim it had the world record for most churches per square mile, Lynden has oft been compared to the town in Footloose. On Saturday, they had a holiday kickoff in the midst of rising COVID infection rates.

The event included dozens of mask-less people mingling and a 20-person choir, singing shoulder-to-shoulder, nary a mask in the bunch. Meanwhile, my friend got the news that her cousin is in the ICU on a ventilator and my Mom told me that a relative younger than I am was found bleeding from his nose and mouth after a COVID-induced stroke. These are young people, with families. If they recover, they will likely face lifelong challenges. …


Exploring BDSM and power exchange enhances my life and my relationship

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Photo purchased from Body Liberation Stock

Full disclosure: it wasn’t that long ago that the thought of referring to a romantic partner as Daddy really squicked me out. I didn’t understand why anyone would want to associate such a familial word with anything sexy or erotic. I was judgmental, and very sure that I would never!

Of all the surprising things I’ve discovered while exploring my sexuality, my love for Daddy/girl power exchange is one of the least expected. It’s also one of the things I’ve talked about the least. Sure, I’ve talked about having a Dominant/submissive (D/s) dynamic. But delving further into the specifics is trickier. …


When you use your words and actions in harmful ways, you are making your position very clear.

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Photo by Life Matters from Pexels

I recently enjoyed a several-weeks long stint as a moderator in a Facebook group with about 2,500 writers. Yesterday, I sent the original moderator a message explaining that I wasn’t willing to run a group with her.

It came down a fundamental difference in opinions about how a group should be run. You see, she believed that the group was for writing, so it wasn’t necessary or appropriate to talk about/place focus on “politics” sometimes. …


I never considered myself Patriotic, then my country disappeared

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Image by Tayeb MEZAHDIA from Pixabay

They say you don’t know what you’ve got until you lose it. I grew up thinking that patriotism was a little bit silly and a little bit misguided: how could you pledge allegiance to a flag or be so dedicated to a nation? I have always been grateful for the life I’ve been able to have because of where I live, but I haven’t displayed the American flag or gone all-in on the 4th of July.

The first time I remember feeling something akin to patriotism was on September 11. More precisely, in the days following the terrorist attacks that changed everything, I watched this country come together and it made me proud to be here. For the first time in my life, I felt somewhat proud to be an American. Well, that was then. …

About

Rachael Hope

Polyamorous, loud laughing unapologetic feminist, rad fatty, and epic sweet tooth.

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