When the mantle of mother is applied, we are expected to provide everything but ask for nothing in return.
In a period of less than 10 minutes, my 9-year-old son slams his bedroom door in my face. Twice. The second time, I angrily proclaim, “I’m not putting you to bed!” and storm back towards the living room. My heart is racing. I can hear him crying in his room. I sit on the edge of the couch, the heat crawling under my skin. I am beyond the end of my rope, frustrated, angry, upset, and there is just nowhere for it all to go.
Mothers bent out of shape don’t rebound so easily, but we must pretend we do.
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As a fat woman, I’ve found immense power in embracing my sexuality. Here’s what I’ve learned.
When I write about sex, I’m not just writing about sex. I’m writing about fat sex. In many ways, the sex I have is no different than the sex anyone else has, regardless of their body size, shape, ability, age, or other differences. But there are ways that having sex with me is different.
Along my never-ending journey to body liberation and acceptance, I’ve found real power in accepting my sexuality, curvy parts and all. Like the ample surface of my soft body, there is ample opportunity for me to explore sex in a way that’s fulfilling and normalizing. …
Spotlight
Emma & Fin embraced their love for hearing others’ stories and ran with it
Emma and Fin are one of those couples, you know, the ones who meet in middle school, get together in college, and then manage to grow something beautiful. Their discovery of non-monogamy came about partially because Fin didn’t want to limit Emma’s life experiences when they found each other so early on. One challenge many couples who meet in their teens face is the lack of experience and exploration that comes from dating and playing with a variety of partners.
Fin was the one to broach the idea of opening up, and Emma describes the two of them as “insanely…
It’s not about whether someone deserves it, it’s about giving a gift to yourself
Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. — Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I remember clearly the moment I switched from responding to apologies with thank you instead of the ubiquitous that’s okay. I was 20 years old, and had been yelled at by a co-worker, who later apologized. His behavior wasn’t okay, but I was ready to forgive him.
That day, I began to really understand that forgiveness is not for other people. …
Carrying sizing up to the average shouldn’t be lauded or celebrated
MLMs come in waves, and the most recent craze is ZYIA, a trendy, spendy athleisure brand taking Facebook by storm. I originally got invited to a ZYIA group by a coworker’s family member. I checked it out, and that’s the first time I saw the claim that ZYIA has something for “everybody and everyBODY.”
I’m always down to support brands that are size inclusive, but when I went to check out their catalog online, I found that their definition of “everybody” only includes people whose bodies are smaller than a size 20. …
40 years in, I’m still discovering ways our body negative culture affects my relationship with movement
Recently I went to a Zumba class with my girlfriend. I was afraid it would be too hard and I would feel like death afterwards, or that I would not be able to do it at all. I went because my girlfriend asked me to go with her and even in the parking lot I felt nervous and skeptical that I would enjoy it. But Zumba is one of the only forms of exercise that I’ve ever even remotely found a groove with, so I agreed.
We danced and kicked and shook our hips, and to my surprise, it was…
True compassion is not conditional: the heartless plan to disperse the Camp 210 Occupied Protest
Nicknamed The City of Subdued Excitement, Bellingham is a college town. 90 miles North of Seattle, our city is home to Western Washington University, stunning views of Mt. Baker, and more breweries than you could ever possibly need. Bellingham is my home, we moved to the area when I was 10 and I’ve lived here since other than a four year stint in my early 20s when I went south.
Downtown has long been one of my favorite areas. When I was in my late teens, I spent hours at Stuart’s Coffeehouse journaling and attending poetry readings. I love wandering…
It’s time to move out of survival mode and into the light of healing from the trauma of America’s worst president.
This morning, I experienced a lot of firsts. I have never cried during the National Anthem before. I’ve never been moved to tears by Jennifer Lopez or been so sentimental hearing songs about America. I’ve never been so deeply touched by an invocation prayer. I found myself incredibly moved by Father O’Donovan’s words:
Be with us, Holy Mystery of Love, as we dream together. Help us under our new President to reconcile the people of our land, restore our dream, and invest it with peace and justice and the joy that is the overflow of love.
On the capital steps…
Being on alert all the time is exhausting, and even when I’m not conscious of it, the anxiety is there.
When my fellow highly-sensitive, gentle friend posts on Facebook asking how we are all doing, I barely hesitate. Not well, I reply, my mind and body are having trouble adjusting to the new frequency of things. This is my truth, which I struggle to articulate.
10 months in, my feet are unsteady underneath me, and much of the time I just feel like I have no control over my emotional-physical well-being. …
All about the pros and cons of sharing your relationship orientation and tips for a smooth transition.
When people ask me who practices polyamory, my answer is that all kinds of people do; in fact, they probably already know someone who’s polyamorous! I feel lucky that I had the privilege and security to be open with my relationship orientation pretty early on when I figured it out. I’d just come out of a marriage, was single, didn’t have a job that would be put in jeopardy or family who would turn their backs.
Coming out as polyamorous was important to me for many reasons.
I made a post on my Facebook page, and to my surprised delight…
Rachael Hope
Polyamorous, loud laughing unapologetic feminist, rad fatty, and epic sweet tooth.
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